Our Top Destinations For Out-Of-Work Politicians
It’s been a rough morning for our would-be (or should that be ‘won’t-be’?) national leaders. Poor old Miliband, Clegg and Farage, amongst many, many others, have been cut down by a shock Conservative victory in the General Election, and are now presumably wandering the cobbled streets of London, desperately trying to find something to do.
Luckily, we’ve got them covered. This is our tailor-made getaway guide for the shakers and movers in British politics who, for better or for worse, shall be shaking and moving no more.
Ed Miliband
Oh Ed, we’re so sorry. We know it hurts now, but the pain will go away eventually. Now, we’ve had a good think about which of our destinations will suit you best, and it seems safe to assume that right about now you’re probably wanting to get as far away from the UK as you possibly can. Well, the furthest we go is Greece, so why not enjoy a four-day wine experience in Santorini? You’ll get the chance to visit the oldest vineyards in the world, try some local cuisine, and stare listlessly out to sea, presumably as a single tear rolls gently down your cheek.
Nick Clegg
Put down the tequila, Nick, it’ll be alright. Look on the bright side – you’re finally out of coalition, which means you can really start to regain control of your life. And what better way to celebrate that taking of control than with a self-drive wine-tasting holiday to the continent? You could head to Tuscany, Alsace, Bordeaux, Champagne, Rioja… or all of them at once, even. Let’s face it, you’ve got the spare time.
Nigel Farage
It’s pretty ironic that you’re probably going to want to get out of the country to clear your head, Mr. Farage, considering… well, you know. Anyway, all that time spent in pubs has got us figuring that you’re probably after something a bit heavier on the red stuff and a bit lighter on everything else. How about our European Wine Collection? Ten regions, and over 150 different wines to try – you’ll get a bit tipsy and you’ll probably learn something new about Europe too. Now that’s what we call a win-win.
Ed Balls
No more worrying about the economy! No more criticizing budgets! No more finances! No more numbers! Make the most of it, Ed. Go spend a few days drinking all the champagne you can get your hands on. Although you might want to try to save at least a few quid with our Champagne SmoothDeal, at least until your JSA payments come in.
George Galloway
We’re trying as hard as we can to figure out a destination for you, George, but all we can think about is that time you were on Celebrity Big Brother for some reason and it’s really, really distracting.
